Mathew’s Blog

Insights from Positive Psychology

Is Your Kindness an Exchange or an Act of Character?

Is Your Kindness an Exchange or an Act of Character?

There is a difference between treating a person a certain way because of how they are behaving at that moment, and treating that person a certain way because of who we are.

Are we kind because that person seems to deserve our kindness at this moment?  Or are we kind because we are a kind person?

A Respectful Approach To Interpersonal Conflict

A Respectful Approach To Interpersonal Conflict

What gives the situation the most opportunity for reconciliation is when both people can work together – perhaps with the help of a professional – to form a shared story that shows respect for each person’s feelings and underlying needs, and then explains each other’s behavior in a way they can both accept as accurate.

Your Opportunity To Choose A Better Story

Your Opportunity To Choose A Better Story

It can be said that the quality of your story determines the quality of your life. The story you accept not only makes sense of what you just experienced, it also is highly influential on shaping how you experience the next situation like it – and your subsequent experiences begin to reinforce the strength of this story for better or worse. But if you can change your story, you can change your experience.

When Vulnerability Is Voluntary vs. Imposed Upon You

When Vulnerability Is Voluntary vs. Imposed Upon You

It is not the single act that creates high trust, but your consistent experience of vulnerable sharing that is met with respectful handling by the other. The more positive interactions of vulnerability you have in the bank of experience, the more likely that relationship can handle an occasional rupture-and-repair of trust.

Summary of Mathew’s Masters Thesis

Thesis: Introduction Part 2

Thesis: Introduction Part 2

Objectives This paper is a discussion of a connection I found between a psychological theory underpinning the work of a helping professional and a physiological marker of well-being that is relevant to desirable coaching outcomes. More specifically, this paper aims to...

Thesis: Introduction Part 1

Thesis: Introduction Part 1

While most kinds of coaching share the same objective of helping people make positive moves forward in life, there are a myriad of ways in which clients need help doing that. Not only might they respond differently to different coaching methods, they may also respond...

Thesis: Preface To My Summary

Thesis: Preface To My Summary

For the sake of my friends, colleagues, and clients who have asked me to share my thesis I am publishing a series of articles as a summary, written in a more reader-friendly way, and will include content I was grieved to not have been able to fit in given the word...