Insights from Positive Psychology
There is a difference between treating a person a certain way because of how they are behaving at that moment, and treating that person a certain way because of who we are.
Are we kind because that person seems to deserve our kindness at this moment? Or are we kind because we are a kind person?
What gives the situation the most opportunity for reconciliation is when both people can work together – perhaps with the help of a professional – to form a shared story that shows respect for each person’s feelings and underlying needs, and then explains each other’s behavior in a way they can both accept as accurate.
The strong emotional response to failure (or success) is a secondary experience, something tacked on to it by other psychological and social influences. The problem is not the fact of failure, but the response to it.
It can be said that the quality of your story determines the quality of your life. The story you accept not only makes sense of what you just experienced, it also is highly influential on shaping how you experience the next situation like it – and your subsequent experiences begin to reinforce the strength of this story for better or worse. But if you can change your story, you can change your experience.
It is not the single act that creates high trust, but your consistent experience of vulnerable sharing that is met with respectful handling by the other. The more positive interactions of vulnerability you have in the bank of experience, the more likely that relationship can handle an occasional rupture-and-repair of trust.
Summary of Mathew’s Masters Thesis
Objectives This paper is a discussion of a connection I found between a psychological theory underpinning the work of a helping professional and a physiological marker of well-being that is relevant to desirable coaching outcomes. More specifically, this paper aims to...
While most kinds of coaching share the same objective of helping people make positive moves forward in life, there are a myriad of ways in which clients need help doing that. Not only might they respond differently to different coaching methods, they may also respond...
For the sake of my friends, colleagues, and clients who have asked me to share my thesis I am publishing a series of articles as a summary, written in a more reader-friendly way, and will include content I was grieved to not have been able to fit in given the word...